Don’t let Christmas sweep you off your feet
Editor’s Note: Thanks to all of the holiday hubbub, Amanda Greever presents a classic Christmas column that originally ran in 2006.
You know what’s funny? Aside from mean Mrs. Deagle in “Gremlins,” men are usually associated with saying things like “bah, humbug.”
Think about it.
You have Ebenezer Scrooge, the Grinch or even Mr. Potter in “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
You’re wondering if I’m setting you up to find out that I’m as bad as any of them, aren’t you?
Well, don’t worry. I’m not QUITE that bad. Although generally around the holidays, you will hear me say “bah, humbug” more than most.
Do you realize that aside from Valentine’s Day, we’re in the midst of the second most romantic holiday of the year?
After all, you don’t get romantic on the Fourth of July, although you might cause some fireworks of your own anyway.
St. Patrick’s gives you the opportunity to pinch someone not wearing green, but it’s rare that a pinch can lead to something more romantic than a slap ... depending on where you pinch.
MLK, Columbus, Easter — nothing very romantic in those.
Now to Christmas. You’ve got mistletoe for all those moments when apparently you just can’t go ahead and kiss someone without the excuse of a plant. (By the way, it’s poisonous to animals ... kissing can be lethal. Who knew?)
Plus, there’s the fact that for some reason, engagement rings seem to be a popular present at Christmas ... my brother being one example of this.
Then there’s New Year’s Eve, the second half to this season.
There are two choices when it comes to New Year’s ... you either have (or go find) that special someone to kiss at midnight or you sit at home alone watching the ball drop, maybe even thinking about how you dropped the ball yourself.
Or maybe you even have that special someone but you’ve lost the interest in really making the night special and you sit at home together but don’t even enjoy it. Maybe you even go to bed before midnight, which, to me, is even sadder than celebrating alone.
Taking all this into account, there’s one thing I must caution. Don’t let the idea of “ho, ho, ho” turn you into an actual ho.
The holidays can be one of the loneliest times of the year — I’ll be the first to admit that — but don’t let the lonelies cause you to do something you’ll regret.
Don’t make rash decisions and do something just to avoid being alone. Alcohol is something you should definitely not partake in too much because it truly could make Danny DeVito look like Johnny Depp. Yep, he might just look good to you. In other words, treat any involvements like a first date and not a gropefest brought on by overindulgence.
Also, don’t try to get involved with someone at the holidays because you’ll never really be sure whether it’s your heart or the lonelies leading you on.
Plus, you REALLY don’t want to be making resolutions about not making that mistake again.
This season, I’m going to say “bah, humbug” but still spend time with my family and friends. Yes, I’ll even buy them presents.
So however you celebrate and for whatever reason, have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year’s, too.
Amanda Greever is assistant managing editor at The Daily Times. She writes a weekly column in the Sunday Life section. She can be reached at 981-1161 or (firstname.lastname@example.org) Follow her on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com _editor.