Move over, Metallica, the sandman has arrived
As I sit down to write this week’s column, I’m reminded of a famous proverb: “The early bird catches the worm.”
You see that’s the problem. I’m not the early bird. I absolutely despise mornings. Can’t stand them. As far as I’m concerned, we need 24 hours of lovely mid-afternoon to say, I don’t know about 3 a.m.
That’s when I totally rock it out. I mean I’m unstoppable, or unstoppable as I’m ever going to be anyway. Mind you, I’m not talking about some runaway train. My life isn’t an amazing feature film directed by the late (and great) Tony Scott, starring Denzel Washington — oh, those finely sculpted masculine features and Chris Pine — oh, those gorgeous (slightly feminine, I’m not even going to lie) features — and that monstrously mechanized form, the aforementioned runaway train. I’d kinda love if my life was that exciting, but let’s be honest: It’d be way too much work.
When I wake up in the morning, say around 10 a.m. each morning, I just lie there in bed. Wondering. Thinking. Dreaming. I’m not really sure if it’s anything particularly exciting, or revelatory, but hey, it’s in my head. I can’t get it out, yo! I’ve got to let it run its due course. In most cases, I’d say that takes another two to three hours. With my eyes closed. Because, hey, I do some of my best thinking that way.
As I lay there, I’m transported to a great world. It’s not full of rainbows, unicorns and gummy bears. I can’t stand that stuff. Far too juvenile. I’m a sophisticated woman who likes the finer things in life. “The Vampire Diaries.” “Supernatural.” Dean Winchester. Jensen Ackles. Maybe a dash of “Once Upon a Time,” “Revenge” and “Magnum P.I.” And if I can get around to them, some trashy romance or hardboiled novels.
I know. I know. You’re a little jealous that I could be so cultured. It’s COMPLETELY understandable. It’s what happens when you live life in the fast lane. However, you’ve got to do it with style and a little bit of panache. Or in my case, a lot of panache. I’m practically Cyrano de Bergerac — in female form, of course.
It’s a seriously tough life but someone’s got to do it, and I KNOW that it’s not going to be you.
Anyway, I’ll get back to these dreams. Seriously amazing.
Let me tell you about the latest installment of Young Greevy’s Magical Mystery Tour.
Enter Sam and Dean from “Supernatural.” They are involved, and I do mean involved, with this dream’s protagonist. (Waves to audience and takes a bow)
Poor Dean was missing and yours truly was the only one that he seemed able to reach. Or maybe the only one he wanted to reach. We’ll go with that one. He calls me to let me know where he is, which I relay to BFF who then relays that important tidbit — it’s totally this bad boy’s MacGuffin, for any of my Hitchcock homies out there — to Sam. Fast forward and Dean has been found, and monsters have been slayed. Dean comes to find me, and amidst the cheers of “He’s a Jolly Good Fellow,” he sweeps me up into a kiss reminiscent complete with sparkles and floating and all that grand, seriously amazing stuff. Things faded to black luckily before the rating went from family friendly to “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
Sometimes I’m reminiscent of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and going after the big bads myself. Other times I’m the damsel in distress as the Salvatore brothers from TVD come in to save the day, and I can never choose which brother I want. Then again, who can? Certainly not the show’s leading lady.
Now mind you, not all the dreams are full of sex and violence. Sometimes work trickles in. Or Jack Nicholson. Believe me when I say you don’t want to know about that one.
As you can tell, it’s all “Good morning, Greevernam!” up in my little world.
So, I’ll wrap this one up with a new proverb: Zzz. (The ghost of real-world responsibilities shakes me).
“Give me five more minutes, I promise. I’m almost ready.”
Amanda Greever is assistant managing editor at The Daily Times and replacement editor for the vacationing Steve Wildsmith. Amanda can be reached at 981-1161 or (email@example.com) Follow her on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com _editor.