Hairy horn gives history buff devil of a time
By Linda Albert | (email@example.com)
This past Tuesday, David Duggan and I had the pleasure of spending time with the Maryville Kiwanis Club, where we had been asked to do a program about the pictorial history, “Maryville,” that we co-authored for Arcadia Publishing Company. It turned out to be a quite interesting day.
Let me back up a bit. Public speaking is not my strong point. There is an excellent reason why I write instead of speak — and if I don’t write down word for word what I want to say, only the good Lord knows what will come out of my mouth, if it is actually understandable.
In the past, I simply left book programs to my co-authors, but David thought I should play a more active role in the program, so I agreed. With much blood, sweat, Prozac and prayer, I wrote down what I needed to say and practiced it in front of the dog. He barked, so I took that as a good sign.
Tuesday morning, I got up and started getting ready. Everything was going along perfectly in respect to time management (and my nearest and dearest are invited to stop laughing now). The kink in the works came as I dried my hair. Right in front, where the part is, a thick strand about an inch long stood straight up. It curled at the tip like a little horn.
OK, I tell myself. No need to panic. I’ll use some hair gel to smooth it down.
The horn was saturated, mashed down to my head, brushed to incorporate it into the more sedate hair — and immediately stood straight up again. At this point, the hair right above my forehead looked like it had been treated with bear grease or unwashed for a couple of weeks.
OK, now what? Hair spray, I decided. I got it out, sprayed the horn, repeated above process.
My hair looked like it was full of bear grease that had been frozen in place. And the horn, that thorn in my flesh, was still standing as proudly as ever. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. There was no time to wash my hair and dry it again. By this time, my schedule had pretty much gone to the devil, who was likely the cause of that horn sticking up anyway.
Think, girl, think … Aha! Scissors! We will cut off the offending appendage!
The two-pronged problem was half-solved. The horn was gone, leaving in its wake flat, greased, frozen hair right above my forehead. I can deal with that, I decided, brushing it vigorously to lift it a bit and make the problem less obvious. I wasn’t pleased with the result but at least I had lost the horn.
I made it to the meeting not only on time, but about five minutes early. I’m not sure which feat was more surprising to David. Or to me, for that matter!
The Kiwanis were so welcoming and kind, with such wonderful and humbling comments about both my work and Judge Duggan’s. They were also very receptive to our program and to the mission we hope to accomplish through the publication of “Maryville” and the other Arcadia Publishing Company pictorial history books now available in Blount County, to share our history as well as promote historical preservation. In addition, David and I are designating $4 of each book sold through us to any group who would like to host a program and book sale. The next such program will begin at 7 p.m. on March 16 at the Palace Theater, and the public is invited. We plan to have a PowerPoint presentation entitled “A Walk Through Vintage Maryville,” showing scenes from the past along with current photos from the same perspective as the old. The $4 per book sold at this event has been designated for the Good Samaritan Clinic. There’s no charge to attend.
There will come a time when these photographs and other relics are gone forever if we don’t take a stand now to keep them viable for future generations. As we suggested at the Kiwanis program, if you have photos or other historical memorabilia you don’t want, contact either one of us. We’ll be happy to find it a home. The photographs, especially, need to be shared. Somewhere out there is a descendant who would dearly love to see that old photo of great-grandpa.
Many thanks again to the Maryville Kiwanis. We appreciate each of you and all the wonderful projects you sponsor to make this community a better place.
Linda Albert is Sunday Life editor and a staff writer for The Daily Times. You may contact her at 981-1168 or (firstname.lastname@example.org)