Counterpoint! Eleven things every girl should have in her life
EDITOR’S NOTE: To quote the great R&B crooner Space Capone in regards to last week’s column detailing 11 things every guy should have in his life, “my dudes all approve.” The fellas seemed to agree with my rundown, but one regular reader of the opposite sex decided to offer an alternative take. I thought her list was fantastic, asked for her permission to publish it and, in the interest of equal opportunity advice-giving, I present to you “Eleven things every girl should have in her life,” courtesy of April Satterfield-Stadel ...
The information in your article made me realize it’s amazing people ever get married. Your list contained only two items that would be on a girl’s list: a good friend, and jumper cables. Here’s a list of 11 things every girl should have in her life:
1. An adult relationship with your mother. Every teenage girl thinks her mother is old-fashioned. I can’t imagine the amount of heartache that could have been railroaded had I listened to my old-fashioned mother: Never call a boy; if he wants to talk to you, he will call you (see burning coals reference in No. 10) ... don’t get into the car with a boy who will not come to the door ... that skirt is too short ... study harder, ... your skin is beautiful when you are sixteen; why do you have make-up on? Your mother is the love of your life, and no one will love you like your mother no matter how hard you look and how hard you fight it.
2. At least three bras: One bra that you can wear all day without searing pain and without causing searing pain to the children that might see you bra-less; secondly, a bra that you can wear with a T-shirt that doesn’t look like rolls of cotton balls under the T-shirt; and third, a “date-night” bra that makes you convinced you look like the girl in the Victoria’s Secret catalog.
3. Incredible boots. Every woman in Maryville was convinced last week’s cool weather meant full-on boot season. Scuffed-up Frye boots that have been places before you walked in them, like old bars with peanuts on the floor and George Jones singing “He Stopped Loving Her Today.”
4. Trusted esthetician for waxing: No need to explain.
5. A long-time hairdresser: Every women has gotten over a break-up with a cut and style, and if was a particularly rough break-up, a new color or highlight.
6. Jumper cables: My dad put them in my first car, a 1965 Mustang convertible that he built after buying it in baskets. I never understood if the cables were a necessity or a sign of his lack of faith in his mechanical ability; nevertheless, I still have the Mustang and the jumper cables, yet I have never had to use them since a good Southern man would never watch a woman jump off her own car. (Although my dad made sure I knew how to use them.)
7. A best friend: Not a best friend like a man chooses, where they toss some sort of ball around and discuss vague details of their lives. A woman’s best friend has wiped the snot from her forehead after another disappointment. She’s a best friend that has analyzed every word in a text for hours, trying to decipher the meaning or intention. She’s someone whom you trust so much that you would go on a date with a rodeo clown, big red shoes and all, if she thought he was perfect for you. If she’s a best friend like mine, she knows every horrible thought, deed and action I have done or had and still picks up the phone every day when I call.
8. A great recipe: This is a women’s go-to recipe for family functions, pot lucks, Bunco, school fundraisers and church dinners. This recipe does not have to be elaborate, but it has to be perfection.
9. A pair of skinny jeans: Not skinny as the new style has dictated, but jeans that make a woman feel skinny. These are the jeans that Michelle Duggar puts on after her 19th child and says, “I look the same in these as I did in high school.”
10. The book “He Is Just Not Into You”: This book demystifies men in pure, raw, black-and-white verbiage. There is no interpretation of: He is busy, tired, working late, was kidnapped, misses his mother, etc. A man that is into you walks over hot coals to get your time and attention.
11. A good man: One who brings the umbrella to your car when you get home and its raining, picks your favorite songs new and old and loads them on your iPod, calls you when it is storming and you are not at home to make sure you are OK, checks the tread on your tires, your windshield wiper blades and all that other car stuff, gives you the slightest grin the moment he sees you, studies you like Darwin while thinking you are the most unique creature on the island, knows Mark Twain is your soft spot, leads you onto the dance floor when your eyes are closed, cries when each of your children are born, is the first to call you in the morning and the last to call you at night.
April Satterfield-Stadel is a Blount County county native, the daughter of Margaret and Dwight Satterfield, who lives in Maryville with her husband, Dave Stadel, and their two sons, Weston and Thomas. You can contact her at (firstname.lastname@example.org)