thedailytimes.com : Your 24/7 news source

Weekend Editor Steve Wildsmith and Managing Editor for Print/Online Buzz Trexler have one thing in common: They are both in substance abuse recovery. Their approach to recovery is different, but the goal is the same: To stay clean and sober.

As The Daily Times continues its focus on "Wasted: People, Money, Lives," the two of them took time to separately answer a set of questions concerning their approach to staying in recovery.

In brief, what was the progression of your drug/alcohol use?

Buzz: I started drinking at the age of 14, smoking grass at the age of 16 and using harder drugs by the time I turned 17. At age 18, I had become involved with intravenous drugs, hallucinogens, you name it. Like "Mikey" on the Life cereal commerical, if it came my way, it was worth trying.

Steve: I first picked up alcohol the summer after my senior year in high school; during my freshman year, it was a regular part of my college experience. In 1994, at the age of 23, I was introduced to narcotic pain pills after knee surgery, and my addiction blossomed in full. By 2000, I was an IV drug user -- cocaine, heroin, Oxycontin -- it really didn't matter. My drug of choice, like that of many addicts, was "more." "More," and preferably "yours."

How long have you been "clean?"

Buzz: I quit drinking alcohol in 1983, but didn't quit smoking grass until in 1985. In 1987, I thought I could "social drink," but that didn't last but a few months and I've been sober since then.

Steve: I was introduced to recovery through my first treatment center in the fall of 2000. It took another year and a half before I finally reached that bottom to where I was willing to do anything to get clean and stay clean. My clean date is March 20, 2002, the last time I put anything stronger than caffeine, nicotine or refined sugar into my body.

Aside from giving up drugs and alcohol, what was the most difficult part of the recovery process for you?

Buzz: Breaking off past friendships and convincing myself and some members of my family that I do not have the luxury of drinking one beer, one glass of wine, one anything when it comes to alcohol.

Steve: Admitting that I'm an addict, and that in order to truly recover I needed to address what drove me to use drugs in the first place. For years, I deluded myself into believing that an addict was someone who lived under a bridge, begged for change, ate what I threw away and smoked crack in dark alleys and bad neighborhoods. Because I had a college degree and was professionally employed, I thought, I couldn't be an addict. But recovery has taught me that addiction and alcoholism are the great equalizers -- they cut across economic, social, racial, ethnic and sexual boundaries. They claim everyone from the doctor to the down-and-out, and I'm not exempt. Accepting that -- and realizing that sometimes instead of asking "Why?," I should be asking, "What am I going to do about it now?" -- has been monumental in not just recovering from addiction but leading a more spiritual and fulfilling life.

Are you part of a 12-step recovery group?

Buzz: No. I attended AA meetings when I was in an alcohol rehabilitation center while in the Navy in 1975. My recovery has been faith-based as a part of my Christian experience. However, I would have to confess that 12-step principles and Reinhold Niebuhr's "Serenity Prayer" have been a great part of that recovery as well; in fact, given that I was in AA 10 years before I became a committed Christian, I had a significant chunk of the "Serenity Prayer" memorized before I knew "The Lord's Prayer."

Steve: Yes. When I first got clean, I went to a meeting every day for more than a year. My attendance has waxed and waned over the past several years, and as my life has grown more full, my meeting attendance has dropped off. I still try to attend 12-step meetings at least twice a week in Rockford.

Because of the 11th Tradition of the program to which I belong -- which urges members to maintain personal anonymity "at the level of press, radio and films" -- I refrain from identifying myself with a particular 12-step program.

What is the likelihood of your returning to drug or alcohol use?

Buzz: Here's where those 12-step principles come in for me: I take it one day at a time. I'm an alcoholic who is only one drink away from becoming a drunk.

Steve: I've learned over the years that any addict or alcoholic who declares they will never drink or get high again is tempting fate. Do I find myself looking over my shoulder, expecting my addiction to sweep me off of my feet and pour pills down my throat? No. Do I believe I'll be clean for the rest of my life? I don't think that far ahead. God willing, I'll make it through the end of the day, and if I get up tomorrow and do what I did today to stay clean, chances are good I won't get high then, either.

What is your recommendation for those who believe they or someone they know has a drug or alcohol problem?

Buzz: They have to find a reason to quit. Someone who sees no reason to change their behavior will not change that behavior. One more thing: It's never too late.

Steve: Three principles are required to take that first step -- honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. If an addict is honest enough to admit they have a problem and their life has become unmanageable, and they're open-minded enough to believe that there has to be a better way of life out there, and they're willing to do anything to find that better way ... that's Step One, right there. That doesn't mean the other steps will be easy, but in the end, recovery is about the journey and not the destination. And a journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.

Steve Wildsmith is a recovering addict and the Weekend editor for The Daily Times. Contact him at steve.wildsmith@thedailytimes.com or 981-1144. Buzz Trexler is managing editor for print/online. Contact him at frank.trexler@thedailytimes.com.