thedailytimes.com : Your 24/7 news source

All parents and caregivers know that young children can become angry and aggressive sometimes, some children more frequently than others. Since children do not have the reasoning and verbal skills that adults do, they often express many feelings through anger. Anger is a primary emotion in reaction to many things including fear, hurt feelings, frustration, disappointment and jealousy. Anger can be linked to low self-esteem, anxiety over not being able to control a stressful situation (divorce of parents, death of a loved one), and fear of failure.

Of course a major concern of those who work with children is dealing with aggressive behavior (kicking, yelling, and biting) that is harmful to the child or to other children. However, there are ways to help prevent harmful aggression. Here are some ideas:

Be a good role model by handling your own anger. Remain calm when children in your care are upset or acting aggressively.

Reduce frustrating circumstances. Have several of a favorite toy and do not make children wait very long to have a turn with a toy.

Give children positive attention for behaviors you want to reinforce. Try to give them attention before they act out.

Eliminate toys that encourage aggressive behavior such as guns, bats and sticks.

Provide ample opportunity for physical activity such as exercise and outdoor play.

When a child is angry and the situation becomes aggressive, try these steps:

Assess what caused the child to strike out -- were they tired, bored or hungry?

Remain calm, use a firm voice, and communicate with the child on eye level.

Give children words to express their feelings and help them communicate their feelings to the other child.

If a child strikes out because he wants attention, briefly tell the child he will not be allowed to act in that way. Try to avoid giving too much of your attention in this situation.

If a child does not calm down, you may need to remove him from the room for a brief period of time.

Sometimes a child needs to be held until they calm down. You may say "You seem to be having a hard time right now. I am going to hold you for a little while. Then you may play again."

Give children alternatives to aggression towards people such as punching a pillow, throwing bean bags, painting, running, drawing, dancing or making noise with instruments.

Children's books like "Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" by Judith Viorst, "Sometimes I get angry" by Jane Werner Watson, "I was so mad" by Karen Erickson, and "The day of the rainbow" by Ruth Craft can be helpful when teaching children about anger and aggression. These and many others are available at the Blount County Public Library.