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Editor's note: This is part two of a two-part series on emotional abuse. Part one ran Nov. 15.

The male pronoun is used when referring to perpetrators because the majority of abusers are men; however, women can be abusers also. Names and identifying details have been changed to protect the anonymity of the people in this article.

While physical violence is cyclical, emotional abuse is constant. The words rain down like physical blows, tearing apart the victim's sense of self, her trust in her own perceptions and experiences, and her health.

As their self-esteem is eroded, victims suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, depression, a myriad of stress-related health problems, inability to make decisions, problems with concentration and memory, insomnia, nightmares, hopelessness, and suicidal thoughts.

They will often say with sadness, "I used to be really good at organizing things and I enjoyed it;" "I used to paint;" I liked to hike and I loved the outdoors." It is as though they are describing a lost self they have buried and only vaguely remember.

Realistically assessing the situation in which she is living grows more difficult the longer a woman stays in an abusive relationship. Her partner may sometimes be the attentive, charming, generous person he was in the early part of the relationship. He may be successful and well-liked in the community. It's hard to label such a person as an abuser.

There is hope of escaping the abuse, however. It will take courage, it will be hard work, and you will need to be patient with yourself, but you can find your voice and yourself.

Linda Britt is a Licensed Professional Counselor with Foothills Christian Counseling. She can be reached at 681-4914.