Statute of limitations should apply to relationships

Shouldn't there be a statute of limitations on relationships?

Wouldn't it be nice if, say, six months after a break-up, you no longer have to deal with any issues or baggage left from said relationship? There are no bad feelings or sadness. You remember good times, but don't look longingly at what might have been.

"What might have been" is one of the nastiest phrases known to man. There are no situations in which wondering about coulda, woulda or shoulda is a good thing. You can waste away wondering about "what if" or "maybe I", but it honestly won't do you any good.

So why is there not a statute of limitations on such things? If there are limitations placed on crimes, then shouldn't relationships be given the same consideration? If I remember correctly, Charlotte from "Sex and the City" allowed half the life of the relationship for a mourning period. For example, if the relationship lasted a year, then a person was allowed to mourn, feel pangs and hold on (at least a little bit) for six months. After this period, it was time to move on completely. It's not always that easy though.

The other night I was out with some friends, and we ran into a guy that knew someone that one of my girls dated briefly. It's been almost three years since she's even seen him, yet memories of the man came flooding back. He was the last guy that she really truly liked so those residual feelings were never replaced. It was a complete downer to have her fun evening spoiled by the thoughts of a guy who represented a time of both happiness and sadness for her.

But it's been three years. Shouldn't all those feelings be gone by now? Shouldn't she be able to think of him and not wonder what if or feel any sadness that it didn't work out?

Or take me. I'm afraid I've got an example that is even worse than hers. My relationship ended over four years ago, yet I can't think of him every now and then without a touch of sadness. I hear a song that reminds me of him, and I think back to happier times.

We stayed friends for a while, but that only lasted until he wasn't allowed to talk to me anymore, per the orders of the woman he's going to marry. Yes, he's planning a wedding these days, and I can't help but think that it was supposed to be me.

Luckily, I've been involved with men since then, so it's not like I've been pining away for four years. I came to the realization that he and I would never have worked out. Yet there are still pangs now and then. Shouldn't there be a statute of limitations on my relationship with him? Or on my friend's previous relationship? Are we saps for still getting a little tender over the men of our past? Or are our hearts just big enough to hold on to those old emotions and feelings? I wish I had the answer on this one. It could do us both some good.

Amanda Greever is a copy editor at The Daily Times. She writes a weekly column in Women's Times. She can be reached by calling 981-1163 or e-mailing amanda.greever@thedailytimes.com