After 10 months of seeing each other, he informed me that he is about to enter into a relationship with a 22-year-old. He said it was nothing I did, but he is just attracted to younger guys when it comes to relationships. He also informed me that he will always be in my life and will never let me go. He said we could see each other secretly, but no more dates or public outings. I can see him only occasionally now, whenever the new boyfriend is working or out of town.
I’m afraid not to go over when he calls because I’m in love with him. I’m afraid if I don’t abide by the terms of the relationship he has set, he will disappear out of my life. What do I do in this situation?
He thinks he will always be in your life because you will tolerate this awful status quo. The only thing he is prepared to give you is more of what you have been getting — pain. Recognize that things don’t always turn out as we would wish, get emotional support where you can find it — from friends or a licensed therapist, if necessary — and move on.
He has tried a few times in recent years to have a relationship with me. He even went as far as contacting me when I was about to turn 15, demanding that I spend time with him. We went to court again, and I was granted a permanent restraining order against him.
Now for my question: He is very ill. I still want nothing to do with him, for obvious reasons. I have an older brother who sees him and takes responsibility for his needs. Am I obligated to help with my father’s needs, and should I have to pay for, plan and/or attend his funeral when the time comes?