The way to soothe this ache and refrain from lashing out at others would be to remember they are blameless. By taking your pain out on them, you are isolating only yourself. Get rid of any mementos that remind you of him. If a song reminds you of him, don’t play it again. Keep yourself busy.Focus on other things and talk with your friends and family about your feelings. If you do, you will soon realize that others have experienced the same disappointment you have. And, above all, remember that although this experience may have been romantic for a while, it has run its course.
He is very religious, and I have thought about reaching out to his pastor about this because it bothers me so much, but I’m agnostic and don’t have a relationship with him. It hurts me, but it’s almost worse because our daughter watches it and I don’t want her to think it’s OK for her daddy to bully me like this.
That you are an agnostic — many intelligent and pious individuals are, by the way — should not stop you from having a conversation with your husband’s pastor. However, even if the pastor were to craft a sermon on the subject, I doubt it would change your husband’s behavior. If you are going to continue in this marriage, you must find a way to change the way you react to the mistreatment you are receiving. Perhaps once he finds he can’t get the reaction he’s looking for, he will stop.