I gave them a week or so to cool off. I called back only to be informed by the mother that I had violated her son’s sanctity of sexual orientation because he identifies as a “they” and “prefers androgynous boys to women.” She went on to explain that as a result of my “indiscriminate sexism,” I’m no longer allowed around the family.
I feel I should’ve been informed of the child’s orientation being such an important aspect of his ... or rather, “their” identity, and tried to explain it was an honest mistake and would never happen again. My friend said the damage was done, and they can’t forgive that kind of arrogance and blatant disrespect for “their” gender identity and sexual orientation.
Was I insensitive for not asking first, or should the parents have taken the initiative to inform me so I wouldn’t make such an egregious error in what I assumed was a well-rounded friendship? Any advice would be great.
I’m sorry that the young person was embarrassed. Your apology should have been directed at them, not their mother. But since the mother has now decreed you persona non grata, you will have to accept it. It’s unfortunate. The family overreacted. What could have been handled as a simple teachable moment was blown out of proportion.
Our home is always dirty because, as she puts it, she is not a housemaid. She doesn’t cook often either. Many times I come home so tired I can’t see, and the house is a mess. This has caused arguments.
My thinking is, if she’s not going to take care of the house, she should get a job and help with the finances. The money she gets from the day care doesn’t go toward the household. She considers it her spending money.
I am ready to bounce and find greener pastures. I have tried talking to her, but she ignores my complaints and plays the victim. We have already tried counseling. It doesn’t work because she goes back to her normal self afterward. Help!